Friday the 8th i went down town for lunch and ran into one of the midwives - Olina. Olina was with her husband Jimmy an anesthesiologist whom i had met a few weeks ago but did not know the connection. This is just one of many examples of the 2 or 3 degrees of separation every single person on this island shares. You mention a person and invariably the person you are talking to will tell you "oh he's my cousin" or you mention a place and they say "my sister's husband works at that shop/restaurant/hotel". Everyone has a connection to every other person, place and thing on the island. It becomes downright disconcerting! At first i thought the midwives were kidding when they would say that they were at someone's first birth 6 years ago and they remembered them. everyone's memory is incredible here. they remember the spiderwebs of connections in full detail no matter how much time has past. i imagine it as some kind of mental game of twister to work out all the layers of connections.
So, they remember everyone... that is unless you are not a local. i guess we all look alike (they have told me so) because they just don't remember anything about us the second we are out of their sight. the midwives had trouble remembering the students that Olivia worked with 7 months ago. in fact days after Olivia left some of the midwives would ask me my friend's name. She'd been here for a month for goodness sake. Then yesterday one of the midwives came up to me and called me Olivia! good grief - i have been here for more than 6 weeks! Oh well.
Anyway, Olina asked if i would like to join her and her family at a wedding at 3pm (it was 2:30). once i ascertained that i was dressed appropriately enough and that it was acceptable for me to come not knowing the bride or groom i leapt at the opportunity.
First we bought the wedding gifts. 10 yards of island dress fabric for Olina to present and a sarong for me to present. then we went to Olina's house so she could change and headed out to the Anglican Church of the Resurrection, Tagabe, Port Vila. The first thing i noticed when i arrived was a momma who had birthed her baby on the first night Olivia and I worked at the hospital. When her baby was 5 days old he died. Renata, (the mom) had left before Olivia and i came back to work and we had mourned for her and her baby and wondered what became of her ever since. Renata deserves her own post so suffice it to say that she seemed to be doing very well and it was incredibly joyful and healing for me to see her in good spirits.
I was hoping it would be the Kastom ceremony but apparently that had taken place the day before. The service was fairly similar to services in the US but here are some highlights... the guests sang beautiful hymns in the Pentecost language to keep themselves entertained while waiting for the wedding to start. So I was happy that the service was 90 minutes late. The church was decorated in palm leaves, and tropical flowers. It's doors and windows were wide open so local stay dogs came in and out during the ceremony and birds sang on the windowsills. Olina's 78 year-old brother a retired preacher gave a 45 minute ad lib sermon on genesis with some creative license if i remember the story correctly. he had a great sense of humor and thoroughly engaged the crowd at least for the first 30 min. There was lots of wonderful singing and fairly traditional vows. afterwards the bridal party all got into decorated cabs and buses and toured the city for about 45 minutes with loud music and honking before returning to the church grounds for the reception.
The reception was set up with all the chairs and benches in row facing the bride and groom - no tables. i wanted to sit with Olina and her family but everyone insisted that i sit in the front row facing the couple. we all faced off for some time before the band/DJ played some really loud music and then we all got into a line and presented our gifts personally by laying them unmarked on the pandanas mats at the couples' feet. all the gifts are shared by the full families of the bride and groom including sending some items back to the islands where they are from. no need for thank you cards since you don't know who will get your gift and they wont know who it is from. we then shook hands and kissed cheeks and it was time for food. the buffet was an amazing spread of local fare... laplap, tuluk, roasted meats, vegetable dishes etc. one funny moment came when i asked what a particular dish was that looked like pink cauliflower - it was "lettuce" i then asked about a dish that was mostly carrots and other indistinguishable vegetables and it was also "lettuce". Apparently all veggie dishes are "lettuce" how have i been here this long and not known this? the first dish turned out to be potato salad with beets. There were at least 40 different dishes to choose from and all delicious. the cake was finally cut at about 10:00pm and slices were put on to trays and passed around. you took your cake in your hand and ate with your hand. if you were lucky, you had not thrown away your napkin from the dinner. We left well before the end of the reception as olina had to work at 11pm.
So, they remember everyone... that is unless you are not a local. i guess we all look alike (they have told me so) because they just don't remember anything about us the second we are out of their sight. the midwives had trouble remembering the students that Olivia worked with 7 months ago. in fact days after Olivia left some of the midwives would ask me my friend's name. She'd been here for a month for goodness sake. Then yesterday one of the midwives came up to me and called me Olivia! good grief - i have been here for more than 6 weeks! Oh well.
Anyway, Olina asked if i would like to join her and her family at a wedding at 3pm (it was 2:30). once i ascertained that i was dressed appropriately enough and that it was acceptable for me to come not knowing the bride or groom i leapt at the opportunity.
First we bought the wedding gifts. 10 yards of island dress fabric for Olina to present and a sarong for me to present. then we went to Olina's house so she could change and headed out to the Anglican Church of the Resurrection, Tagabe, Port Vila. The first thing i noticed when i arrived was a momma who had birthed her baby on the first night Olivia and I worked at the hospital. When her baby was 5 days old he died. Renata, (the mom) had left before Olivia and i came back to work and we had mourned for her and her baby and wondered what became of her ever since. Renata deserves her own post so suffice it to say that she seemed to be doing very well and it was incredibly joyful and healing for me to see her in good spirits.
I was hoping it would be the Kastom ceremony but apparently that had taken place the day before. The service was fairly similar to services in the US but here are some highlights... the guests sang beautiful hymns in the Pentecost language to keep themselves entertained while waiting for the wedding to start. So I was happy that the service was 90 minutes late. The church was decorated in palm leaves, and tropical flowers. It's doors and windows were wide open so local stay dogs came in and out during the ceremony and birds sang on the windowsills. Olina's 78 year-old brother a retired preacher gave a 45 minute ad lib sermon on genesis with some creative license if i remember the story correctly. he had a great sense of humor and thoroughly engaged the crowd at least for the first 30 min. There was lots of wonderful singing and fairly traditional vows. afterwards the bridal party all got into decorated cabs and buses and toured the city for about 45 minutes with loud music and honking before returning to the church grounds for the reception.
The reception was set up with all the chairs and benches in row facing the bride and groom - no tables. i wanted to sit with Olina and her family but everyone insisted that i sit in the front row facing the couple. we all faced off for some time before the band/DJ played some really loud music and then we all got into a line and presented our gifts personally by laying them unmarked on the pandanas mats at the couples' feet. all the gifts are shared by the full families of the bride and groom including sending some items back to the islands where they are from. no need for thank you cards since you don't know who will get your gift and they wont know who it is from. we then shook hands and kissed cheeks and it was time for food. the buffet was an amazing spread of local fare... laplap, tuluk, roasted meats, vegetable dishes etc. one funny moment came when i asked what a particular dish was that looked like pink cauliflower - it was "lettuce" i then asked about a dish that was mostly carrots and other indistinguishable vegetables and it was also "lettuce". Apparently all veggie dishes are "lettuce" how have i been here this long and not known this? the first dish turned out to be potato salad with beets. There were at least 40 different dishes to choose from and all delicious. the cake was finally cut at about 10:00pm and slices were put on to trays and passed around. you took your cake in your hand and ate with your hand. if you were lucky, you had not thrown away your napkin from the dinner. We left well before the end of the reception as olina had to work at 11pm.
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